"How to Pack for a Trip"

By Jerry Zezima

I’m a guy who likes to travel the world. Unfortunately, I can do so only if I sit in front of the TV and watch celebrities like Stanley Tucci eat and drink their way through Italy and other exotic lands while the most thrilling places I visit are Home Depot and Costco.

And they don’t even have postcards.

Still, I have been on enough car excursions, including a recent one to Vermont to attend a college reunion, to pass along my valuable tips on how to pack for a trip.

Tip No. 1: Have someplace to go.

I am often told where to go, but it’s hot enough here. That’s why it helps if you have an actual destination where you will spend at least one night. This means you will need a suitcase or a bag that must be filled with clothes, toiletries and other items, one of which — probably your toothbrush — you are required, by federal law, to forget.

Tip No. 2: Decide how long you want to be away.

It’s better to decide this for yourself instead of leaving it up to a judge, in which case you won’t have to pack at all.

At any rate, the longer you will be somewhere, the longer you will need to figure out how much to bring. This could entail stuffing practically your entire wardrobe into a suitcase heavy enough to make TSA agents suspect there is a dead body in there.

Tip No. 3: Check the weather.

This is the most important part of planning a trip because you need to know if it will be sunny, rainy, hot, cold or any combination of meteorological conditions. This means you may have to pack both shorts and jeans, T-shirts and sweats, skivvies and pajamas, bathing suits and parkas.

Oh, what the hell, just bring them all.

When my wife, Sue, and I went to Vermont, we checked the forecast and saw that we needed to prepare for practically every kind of weather. Even though we would be there for only a weekend, rain was in the forecast for the first day, with warm temperatures in the afternoon and chilly temps in the evening.

The second day was supposed to be hot, with storm clouds early and sunny skies later.

So we packed clothes for every occasion, including outfits for the alumni dinner. In my case, that meant bringing a sport jacket, a button-down shirt, khakis and nice shoes.

Sue had to bring a dress and nice shoes.

Other footwear included sneakers, slides, slippers and sandals, which had to go in separate bags.

Whenever Sue and I visit our older daughter and her family, who live 300 miles away, we stay for a week, which means we have to pack enough clothes to make it look like we are going on a world cruise.

“Maybe we can get our own travel show!” I told Sue the last time we went.

“Don’t forget your toothbrush,” she replied.

Tip No. 4: Bring extra underwear.

If you are old or you remember your mother’s admonition to wear clean underwear in case you are in an accident, you will understand.

Tip No. 5: Don’t throw your back out while loading the car.

This can easily happen while you are hoisting heavy suitcases and bags into the trunk or cargo area. Such an injury will make the drive excruciating and possibly lead to an accident, in which case your underwear won’t be clean.

Tip No. 6: Enjoy your vacation!

By day two, you won’t care what you are wearing and will long to get home, where it will take you approximately 12 minutes to unpack everything and sink into a chair with a cocktail.

It would also be nice if you got a postcard from Stanley Tucci.

Copyright 2025 by Jerry Zezima